You are lost

I am now officially a paid employee of Safeway.  However, I will not be working in the meat department to start with.  I went in at 6 a.m. to finish my paperwork and begin training and was informed I will be starting in the Starbucks kiosk thingy.  I need a job, I need income and I said I would work whatever department they needed me in, I was not aware that this meant working for the demonic destroyer of drinkable coffee.

Now some of you understand my hatred for Starbucks, and some of you might think I’m being a little harsh; after all, Starbucks started off small and through good marketing (read that as saturating the market of our mass consumer culture with images depicting itself as a desirable icon of cool and successfully herding the daft youth subcultures to devote themselves to their brand) became the corporate power whore that has homogenized the american coffee house into the drab hipster-yuppie cesspool it currently is today.  It’s aggressive territorial campaign has been wildly successful as well, shutting out locally owned (although usually overpriced, crappy, poorly run and generally incompetent) competitors across the country.  That’s fine.  My problem is their coffee.  It’s not that good.  That’s the source of my problem; this frenzy of brand loyalty should at least be justified by a quality product.  Yes, the quality of your coffee is dependent on the barista who prepared it, it also depends on the quality of the bean and how recently the beans were roasted.

Hate, hate, hate.  More than Wal-Mart, slightly less than Hot Topic, I hate Starbucks.  And as of today, I will be stationed there.  I take a little comfort that I’m technically a Safeway employee and simply being utilized in a Starbucks, but I guarantee that the first opportunity I get to transfer to any other position I will.

At least I’m getting a paycheck.

I’ve been listening to M.I.A.‘s latest album. There’s a track called “Paper Planes” that has lodged itself in my head. It’s so damn catchy, at least the chorus is anyway. It’s not quite your average hip hop (which is probably why I like it), but it’s so odd and damned catchy and all around a good album. I’m not recommending you get it, but if I could I would subject you to it, just once.

…and take your money.

I’m about ready to start taking somebody’s damn money. I’m getting impatient with unemployment. I’m tired of strapping myself to that damned cell-phone from dawn till dusk waiting for the corporate HR bastards to get their shit together and call me. A couple of places we checked back on haven’t even gotten around to going through the applications they’ve received.

Which brings about an observation I’ve made. People down here bust their asses. None of that stupid stoney-slacker bullshit like in Missoula. If you fuck up/around on the job they’ll replace your ass with a Mexican in a heartbeat. Everyone piss tests, everyone does felony/criminal record/credit checks. The pay is decent and most everything comes with benefits, but you’re in constant competition. Unless you’re management. Once you’re management you can be the most inefficient brain dead fucktard you want to be, so long as you’re a legal citizen and smart enough to keep your job. Imagine counting out the day’s deposit using your fingers and toes instead of a calculator. Then keeping 9 extra people on the floor to watch the store while you’re doing it. That kind of inefficient brain dead fucktardery. Not truly stupid, just incredibly stupid. I can’t wait to be unleashed on these people. All I wanna do is *blam blam blam blam*…. and take your money.

Now gimme the damn job.

Lacking any real economy, Missoula’s primary vocational opportunities lie in customer service.  Myself, my friends, hell most of the town work in some line of customer service be it waiting tables, selling shoes or changing tires.  But despite the fact that this whole town is in the service industry most of them are very bad at it, and it’s become apparent to me that they are getting worse.

In the last 3 weeks Missoula has done just about everything in it’s power to not impress me.  Everything I have tried to do, ordinary tasks, have all become burdensome ordeals that take unreasonable amounts of effort to resolve.  First there was the car.  Hellgate Conoco fixed it, but then there was the dent.  Instead of being helpful or cooperative the man I spoke with accused me and my girlfriend of making the dent.  After a week without hearing back I called to see if my car was ready.  The same guy proceeded to accuse me again, said he wasn’t going to charge me (as if he should), and then told me he called (he didn’t).   Arguing, let alone picking fights with your customer never scores you any points.

Then I’ve got this ordeal with Albertsons, my bank, and my utilities.  Long story short:  Albertsons fucked up and ran my utility checks twice.  My bank said I should cancel the electronic checks (I wanted to cancel the regular).  Then the utilities didn’t receive the checks (according to them) but the money is gone.  So now I have to trace the checks, and the bank, although they have sent me copies of the checks, is not very helpful in finding where the fuck my money is.

I know these are not glorious lines of work and that the pay is equally unimpressive but they’re still jobs, your jobs.  If I need a pack of smokes and it’s your job to sell them to me don’t treat me like I’m an asshole.  You don’t have to smile, you don’t have to say “Have a nice day” just provide the service I need without the bullshit.  We all get those scammers, we all have our unwanted customers and troublesome people to deal with; do your fucking job and be grateful for decent (if not good) customers.