You are lost

Take a deep breath.  Plunge in to the work week.  Get your head above it long enough to take another breath and back in you go.  Weeks pass and months become a blur.  Soon it will be winter, then next year and so on.  I feel the last years of my twenties fleeting away.  Time moves too fast these days.

I used my credit card to take everyone out to dinner last night.  We toasted to global market collapse.  They passed the bailout today.  Hooray!  Inflation!  Internally I’m torn between stocking up before prices jump or trying to continue to fight my debt.  Grrr….

(S)Elections are coming up fast, and we are so screwed.  I’ve said the words “anything but Bush” before, but seriously, can’t we do better than these two ass clowns that bicker over nothing and have essentially the same dooming foreign policy?  Sure, Obama may be welcomed worldwide, but we’ll still have our dick stuck up Israel’s butt, still be in Iraq, still be messing with Russia and Iran, still be pro Georgia and will continue to deny any dissenting voices in the world media that maybe Saakashvili started this shit. Nobody’s talking about our ties with Latin and South America going to hell, even with Chavez booting out ambassadors and inviting Russia to utilize it’s services.

It’s gonna be hard to bomb proof our homes when we’re all living in tent cities.

Hahahahaha.

I’m curious to see how the next year pans out.  If things go well, if things go poorly….  either way here’s to the lulz.

I’ve been working a lot the last month or so.  Not much else is going on around here though, so I don’t really have any news from my end.  I thought I’d tell you that there’s nothing to tell you.

I haven’t been playing any video games, and the only reading material I’ve had time to engage myself with is from corporate.  None the less I’ve been watching world events unfold in the headlines and I have to say I’m extremely concerned.

That’s all I have time for right now.

The call was made this morning; goodbye day off, hello responsibility.  I am now the Starbucks Kiosk Manager.  I go in later today to fill out the paperwork and meet the hidden hands that will hold my shiny new leash.  I’m a little excited, not too surprised, a little anxious and I feel a little… mischievous.

Running the booth, doing the orders, taking inventory, writing schedules… all this and more will be no big deal.  The hardest thing for me is probably going to be holding my tongue when the orders for change come in from corporate.  I have this idea in my mind that if I get fired from this position it’ll go something like this:

Corporate:  “Do this.”

Me:  “Are you fucking stupid?  You’re shooting yourself in the fucking foot on this one.  This is the worst thing you could do in this situation.”

Corporate:  “We at Starbucks appreciate your comments blah blah blah fired.”

Me:  “Damn.”

In other work interests it came to my attention yesterday that I can be trained and certified as a “Coffee Master”.  I’m a bit of a connoisseur as is and learning a little more wouldn’t hurt.  It’s not the bullshit made-up title I’m after.  No.  If I become a coffee master I get to wear a black apron.  Yes.  Black.  Hehehe.  I like the sound of the phony title, but it really comes down to not liking the green apron.

Seeing as it’s way past time for an update here goes.  I’ve been working a lot.  We’re down 2 people in the kiosk at the moment, one of them being the boss.  My boss was promoted to distribution.  So now, with the blessing of everyone in the store, I vie for her job.  Interviews will be conducted sometime after July 1st so I won’t know for a while.

The other night I found a Tiger Centipede in the middle of my kitchen floor.  After collecting and identifying it I went to smoke.  While smoking I saw another strange insect that I trapped and identified to be a Wind Scorpion.  Fortunately neither pose any threat, but they’ve given me the creepy-crawlies for the last couple of days.

Aside from that not much new.  As I don’t really use this site as much as I thought I would, I am pondering disabling it.  It’s not a yes or no yet, I’m just debating it.  I’m not big on myspace, but it’s free, whereas this is not.  Hmm.

Anyway, always more to do.

There are moments when the world slows down, the sky seems within reach, where the articulate pace of daily life becomes a murmur.  Insects sing, clouds drift along and everything else becomes trivial.  As if dreaming, 200 years of progress becomes lost and meaningless, swallowed in darkness.  Only the moon and stars remain.  And you.  Insignificant and special.

But moments like these never last long.  Time and all its incessant nagging horrors howl; time for work, time for bed, horns and stereos blare, porch lights burst alive.  The civilized world screams to be acknowledged.

But there will be time for horror later.  After all, this moment is precious.  The lighter flares up and we begin again.

So here’s what I’ve been doing for the past month.  I’ve played/beat Professor Layton and The Curious Village (DS), Portal (XBox) and Army Of Two (XBox).  I am still currently playing Beautiful Katamari (XBox), Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Ring Of Fates (DS)  and Every Extend Extra (PSP).

I’ve also been doing some reading.  I finished “Hello, I’m Special” by Hal Niedzviecki, an interesting analysis of the promises and realities of western pop culture and the rise of the conforming non-conformist.

I’ve also finished Disinformation’s “Book Of Lists” by Russ Kick, “The Stranger” by Albert Camus and am currently engaged in a re-read of Brave New World.  I’d really like to read Lord Of The Flies again, but I no longer have a copy of it, and I’ve got plenty of other things to read without picking up more things at the library.

In the way of music, it’s been a little of this and that.  New stuff from KMFDM, 16Volt, Juno Reactor and a few others.  Some Katamari Damacy tunes, some Calexico, Iron & Wine, my playlist has been all over the place.

Not much else is new or really going on.  Reading, playing video games, listening to music; this is what you do when you don’t have everyone to hang out with.  Play with my cats, work on the yard.  I quit smoking for 2 weeks in there somewhere, but that failed.

I think I’m going to organize some kind of yard sale or something.  Sara and I have a bit of clutter going on and selling it off wouldn’t be a bad idea.  I think the Pirates could do with something like that too.

For the last week or so I’ve had a massive head cold.  It didn’t quite incapacitate me, but it did a lot to make me question what acceptable levels of mucus should be, not to mention delaying my already neglected to-do list.  To recuperate both I’ve set aside 3 days to heal, clean and catch up.  I’ve been drinking coffee and chai for the last 14 hours.  I haven’t smoked for 24 hours.

I’ve decided it’s time to give up smoking again.  I don’t like to do this, but I need to quit again for a while.  Being sick made me very conscious about how much crap I have in my lungs; no that’s not entirely right.  If it stayed in my lungs that would be fine.  It’s when it comes out, that’s where the problem lies.

I find it’s easier to quit if I don’t lie to myself.  I know I’ll quit quitting again someday, I enjoy smoking too much.  But right now I need a break, and I need to respect that.

Regardless, between the nicotine withdrawal and the copious caffiene intake I’ve been itchy to do things today.  Very energetic.  Though I didn’t really do much.  A few quick errands, some mini golf and a lot of reading.

I stocked up on some various hard candies to help with the oral fixation.  I almost forgot how much I love Coffee Nips.  Oh and Jolly Ranchers of course.  Wow, sugar.  I feel like a teenager suddenly.  I’ll probably look a bit like one within 24 hours.

Anyways, the crash should be coming soon, and tomorrow is another day full of things I’ve allocated time to doing.

It seems that days off come with 20 million things you should/need to do.  Today is no exception.  While I drink my coffee and debate my desire to tackle the mountain of chores ahead of me I thought I’d write a little something.

It’s spring here.  My lawn is coming up, trees are blossoming and the cats are being mocked by a pair of house sparrows who decided to build their nest right outside the window.  I’ve been relaxing with a copy of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles:  Ring of Fates, which has proved to be very enjoyable (yay video games!).  There’s a little carnival in town, which I’m tempted to go to tonight.  Riding a Ferris Wheel sounds pretty relaxing.

Money is still pretty tight, but there have been some improvements that allow me a little more room to breathe.  Sara has paid off her medical bills and I’ve taken care of one of my credit cards.  Although there’s still a long way to go to be out of debt (and I’ll be focusing on that primarily) I can spend a little on… living.

Now on to some cleaning before I lose all motivation.

The winter here in PV has been pretty mild, even by local standards (if you can find a real local).  Never the less, spring is pretty much here already, and I’m fine with that.  I got a little anxious last week and re-seeded our front lawn.  Today I planted a garden.

The backyard of our house is a glorified gravel parking lot with some trees and sheds.  About 1800 sq. feet of uninviting, unplanned waste.  In the middle of this desolation, there is a patch of dirt about 12′x10′, a tiny oasis amidst a sea of rocks.  The only things that had been planted there (as far as I can tell) were a couple of rose bushes, a lilac tree and a grapevine.  I composted it with some coffee grounds and such and tried to sculpt it a little (we’ll see how that works).  I planted alyssum, cynoglossum (forget-me-nots), nasturtium, lobelia, foxglove, poppies and more.

I’m on a pretty strict budget, so I had to keep things cheap.  I spent a few dollars on seeds and that’s about all I can put in financially.   It feels pretty rewarding already, a nice way to spend some time outside.

Oh shit, I just burned my chai.

Spring has come, I think.  Usually spring follows after winter, but if winter never comes when does spring begin?  Whatever.  I planted some grass seed in the front yard.  The hopeful result will be to even out the patches of lawn and dirt.

Sara and I went to Watson Lake for a picnic the other weekend.  The rock formations around the lake were pretty nifty.  It’s the first real opportunity I’ve taken since moving down here to enjoy the surrounding area.

I’m not exactly awake enough to write anything of substance but I figured some update might be appreciated.