You are lost

Maybe we might want to consider letting people smoke  in public again.  It  makes more sense than this.  Not that I’m against the idea mind you.  If you really want to, take your guns where ever you please.  I don’t care.  But you and I know that some people really should just take Johnny Cash’s advice  “Don’t take your guns to town”.

When over 273 days a year are sunny and the weather begins to get hot having a few rainy days becomes a very special thing (Missoula averaged about 159 sunny days a year).

The temperature, which had been getting in to the 90’s already, is back down to reasonable 80’s and we’re expecting a few more thunderstorms throughout the next few days.

I’ve been enjoying Patricia Kaas’s album “Kabaret” lately.  She was France’s entry in Eurovision this year, and the bluesy touch of her album has been very suitable for the dreary weather we’ve been having.

I watched Martian Successor Nadesico again.  It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it.  Not a great nor a bad series, but the memories I have attached to it made me feel nostalgic, and old.  It’s been a decade since the first time I saw it.  I was still sleeping on couches, Laurilie had yet to be born, work was graveyard shifts with Curtis…   It’s strange to see how much things have changed since then.  “Those unforgettable days, for them I live.”

I’ve been a little tied up with work the last couple of weeks.  It’ll be at least two more weeks before I have the potential for an uneventful week.

So Eurovision finished up today with Norway taking 1st place, Iceland 2nd, and Azerbaijan 3rd.  Personally my favorite this year was Estonia’s entry Urban Symphony.  There seemed to be a few entries with orchestral pieces, and of course plenty of bad techno and slutty pop crap.  I love this contest.

Page isn’t a very large town and the area we were in was like a dust bowl with a Wal-Mart dropped in the middle of it.  Sara’s mom had to take the grandmother somewhere to get the thumb looked at and we had to wait for Matt’s car to cool down enough to quit spitting coolant, so we were stuck in the parking lot.  The mid day sun was hot and unforgiving, making the Wal-Mart more hellish than usual.  We grabbed some subs from the in store Subway and hid in the small amount of shade the trailer provided to eat.

After some time had passed Sara’s mother and grandmother returned.  Since the grandmother had severed the tendon of her thumb there was nothing the local doctor could do for her; she’d have to see a specialist.  This meant spending the night in Flagstaff when we got there, and possibly more delays in an already long journey.  Feeling not at all refreshed we got back on the 89 and headed south.

The drive to Flagstaff was pretty, but uneventful.  The air became cooler and short shrubberies gave way to tall ponderosas.  We were making good time, though late in the afternoon, when we hit a snag just outside Flagstaff.  The truck got a flat tire.  A bad one.  We had AAA roadside service, which took a while to get there to service the vehicle.  It was dark by the time we got moving again.  Good thing we weren’t planning on going much furthur.

We found a hotel in Flagstaff.  The grandmother, feeling pretty bad about the delays she had wrought, bought us all pizza.  Matt and I spent a good deal of time chain smoking while wandering around the balcony areas.  The new plan of action for the next day was formed.  Sara would stay behind with the grandmother to take her to the hospital while the rest of us would continue on to Phoenix to unload the trailer at Matt’s grandparents.

The drive from Flagstaff to Phoenix was quick and easy, made only more so by not having the grandmother along.  We made it to Matt’s grandparent’s house and after a very brief rest and greetings we unloaded all of our material possessions into their garage.

Later that night Sara and the grandmother arrived.  We all sat together reminiscing about the events of our journey, enjoying each others presence before the mother and grandmother had to depart.  After many hugs and goodbyes they headed on their way.

And so after 4 long days of driving we finally made our destination and settled into our guest rooms on the 10th of August.

Linh had transferred with Wal-Mart, and would be employed in Cottonwood, over 100 miles from Phoenix, so finding housing became the next priority.  We began looking into Campe Verde, Prescott, Chino Valley, Cottonwood; anywhere closer and considerably cooler.  The northern part of Arizona has a higher altitude and a considerably more tolerable climate.  Some house hunting could be done online, but most of it would been done “on foot”, which meant commuting 200 miles back and forth each day to look at houses.  We grew very fond of the radio very quickly.

Linh had to return to work before we found a place to live, and the long drives back and forth looking for houses were time consuming and expensive; we’d been searching for about a week.  We had taken a liking to Prescott Valley, for it’s affordability, job opportunities and temperate climate.

Sara and Matt finally found what was to be our new domicile.  I had become ill the day prior and had vomited in the front yard of a house we were looking into at the time, and thusly was not present for the moment of discovery.  The location was nice, the price was good, the landlords were pretty cool.  Everything clicked.  The landlords were a little concerned about renting to a bunch of unemployed kids, but after flashing some money and job credentials we were in.

Linh stationed herself at the house first, being as it was over 120 miles closer to work, while the rest of us prepared for moving again.  We wouldn’t have the luxury of the large trailer this time, but Matt’s uncle Steve had a smaller trailer and after several trips we got everything moved in.

And so that’s how we came to live in Prescott Valley.  With the financial obligation of shelter on our shoulders we set out looking for work immediately.  Being a strip mall on a highway most of us were applying at big box stores, and after a couple of weeks we were all gainfully employed again.

Sara won a mattress set during a work event, so we now have a brand new Bamboo mattress to sleep on.  It usually goes for around $1,000 so free is pretty sweet, but most importantly it’s pretty comfy.

They put a 2nd Stacker machine in the mall, so now we have 4 to raid in the area.  I probably haven’t had a chance to mention yet that our household, Matt in particular, is pretty damn good at Stacker.  Our haul so far?  An electric scooter, a Nintendo DS, a Creative Zen M Mp3 player and 2 GPS systems (one is a Tom Tom, I don’t remember what brand the other is).  We’ve maybe put $50 - $70 into the machines since we started playing so we’re pretty pleased with our success thus far.

So with the help of Larry’s mechanical prowess we changed the starter on my car.  It was a long procedure that involved removing the exhaust manifold to get at the starter but in the end I learned many things.

The most important thing I learned is about shims, and how they don’t belong next to the flywheel ring gear.

For those of you who are as confused as I was here’s a breakdown of how it works:  the starter receives a jolt of electricity from the battery when you turn your key.  This causes it to spin.  A small gear meshes with the gear of the fly wheel which cranks your engine and everyone is happy.  A shim is a spacer.  In order for the gears of the starter and the flywheel to mesh properly you have to have the right amount of space in between.  My shim had come loose and was in the flywheel housing, bent to shit and eaten away from grinding on the flywheel gear.

Hahaha I feel enlightened.  And sunburned.  Proper sun protection is important if you’re going to spend most of your day outside working on a car.

“You can’t place faith in material things / material things will fail you” -Machines Of Loving Grace

So my day was exciting.  I had to go to Flagstaff for management level food safety testing and certification.  Before heading out I tried to check some things online but the power supply on my computer decided to go wonky and I got blue screened instead.  Whatever.  So I head off, take the course, finish the test, and having completed my mission prepare to set course for home… but my starter isn’t engaging.  Yay!  Stranded halfway across the state!

Anyway, I beat my starter in to submission with a crowbar and made it back home.  As for my computer… it seems something had come loose so after checking all the connections it’s working fine.

Here’s a fighting game called Faith Fighter.  Use your deity in a death match!

And here’s a set of maps depicting density of sinners per county based on the seven deadly sins.  What did I learn from it?  Wyoming is as boring as it seems and never move to Florida.

Note:  This is a continuation of Value, but it started changing direction, so I thought I’d make it separate.

And so what determines if living in such a fashion has any greater value than continuing on an arid existence?  Unlike material goods whose value is based on blood and suffering, the value we assign to life is more incorporeal, and the basis for comparison immeasurable.  A life less ordinary may encounter great things of a spiritual nature that a common life lost to a material existence may never desire to attain, or even recognize to exist.

But cannot a life driven by material things lead to some grand source of inspiration too?  Kingdoms and nations rise out of the aspirations of conquest.

So where does the greater value lie, purpose?  Do we seek enlightenment or material goods to share and improve the circumstances of life for “the greater good” or do week seek to hoard and capitalize on the imbalance created from having what others do not?  But who is to say which is right?

So what do we see as our personal value of time, and what are we willing to trade it for?  If all life is suffering, what is the fruit of our strife?  Do we labor under the illusion that we can ever truly attain something physically tangible when we ourselves are incorporeal beings?

Each moment is precious and unique to an extent, and beauty is in part a product of scarcity.  So the more rare the event the more value we give it. But by influencing the probabilities we create a sameness in the happenings of our daily lives that can lead to a mundane existence and a sense of banality.  The workplace is the most obvious example, and generally where most of us experience this disconnect from grandeur.


The happenings of Day A, if too similar to Day B, lose significance even though each has it’s own unique set of values and circumstances.  More so if Days C-Z follow suit.

But doesn’t this also allow a basis for comparison to determine what is indeed a rare moment?  And from that to measure from greatness what is truly fantastic?  But it also implies that some moments are less rare, and by our definition, less beautiful.  We live in a world where the beauty of the unique is seen as abnormality, chance as insecurity, and seeking enlightenment as terrorism.  By organizing chaos do we not seek banality?

But value is not strictly determined by scarcity.  Why notice any particular moment, why hold it in memory?  We assign meaning to our experiences both common and great, whose value is based on perception.  If we see a moment as rare or meaningful the more we treasure it.  If we feel it to be common or trivial we disregard it.  So the issue at hand is what unseen forces influence our perception to say that one moment has more value another?  Is it all based on personal experience or do we allow cultural experience a greater say?  By raising our expectations of what each moment could hold, have we allowed our society to numb our senses to the subtleties of life?

What enlightenment could we achieve from perceiving every moment as rich in meaning?  And do we not risk imposing a greater meaning than there might be?  It is important to allow that which is mundane to remain insignificant; to allow value to remain uninfluenced and to appreciate what is for what it is.  To simply be and appreciate, and allow the experiences that unfold to enrich us as they will.

This is not to say we cannot create moments of rarity to enhance our experience.  But creating an atmosphere where enlightenment may be achieved is different from trying to discern meaning from the meaningless.  Should we all not seek to influence our own existence in such fashion?  To impose our own will upon our existence rather than allowing the influences prescribed to us by aforementioned social factors?  To create an alternative path to monotony?