You are lost

I don’t feel like organizing my thoughts so I’m just going to let this all out for now.

I moved.  It was a couple of months ago and it ate all my vacation time to do it but I moved.  I’m still in the same over privileged town in this nightmare state and the only breathing things I spend any time with are Sara and the cats; I probably see the cats more frequently.

It’s silent.  The fridge will hum at times or the gas furnace will kick on but everything else is quiet.  I should feel peaceful but my mind is still at work.  It never leaves.

Isn’t it fucking wonderful to have a job in this economy?  Many of my good friends back in MT just lost theirs.  Finnegans closed.  No warning to the staff.  Shit timing too.  I know I’m glad to be employed, I’m certainly not ungrateful, but it feels like there’s this pressure; that you’re not allowed to have a bad day because there are hundreds of people who would love the chance to be working.  Yeah, I get it.  But just because everyone wants a job doesn’t make them any more enjoyable!  It’s still fucking work!

My head is still noisy, even when the work day itinerary slips my mind.  News and bills come to mind.  Chores.  The ever expanding to-do lists of what I should do and what I’d like to do, both holding out for time.  More chores, and then work again…

Time is spent indulging in escapism, immersing myself in a video game or chasing a query online.  Anything to keep the mind distracted.  To relax, even a little.

I’m certain I could ramble on further but I’d rather stop here.  I just wanted to post an update of sorts, not throw a bitch session, but I guess that’s what I’ve got for the time being.  Good luck out there.